THE POINTLESS ADVENTURE
by Roxius
Summary: A completely pointless crack fic with no direction and a messedup plot. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! Still, it's funny...I hope. Please R & R!


"Did we make it to Ba Sing Se yet?" Sokka asked. It had been five months since he left home with his sister, Katara, and some bald-headed freak who claims to be the legendary savior. Aang looked up from his porn magazine and exclaimed, "Dawg, you better not be lyin', S-man. Watch'oo talkin' 'bout?"

Sokka rolled his eyes and thought, 'God, I hate it when he talks like that...' "We haven't even made it to the 5th episode of season 1 yet, Sokka! You need to be patient!" Katara replied. It was quite obvious that she was regretting the fact that she chose to travel with Aang. Who knew that most Air Benders talk like rappers?

Not wanting to piss his sister off too much, Sokka ended the argument right there and went to work on polishing his boomerang/sword thing. Aang, who wasn't even piloting the flying furry thing, crawled over to Sokka and asked, "WHAT 'DA FUCK IS 'DAT THING?" "It's a boomerang, you moron!" Sokka shouted. He waved the boomerang around a bit as an example.

After a few moments of silence, Aang muttered, "S'not my fault you have a gay weapon..." Before Sokka could slice his head off, Aang crawled back onto Appa's head and went back to seducing Katara. "Aang...stop touching me..." Katara hissed while she tried to push Aang off of her. Aang gave her a drunken smile and said, "C'mon, big tits, let's do it like they do on the discovery channel!"

That little retort caused Aang to lose almost half of all his teeth as well as the hidden third eye in the back of his head was ripped out. Sokka laughed like a wild man as he watched Katara practically RAPE the poor idiot. However, it was all too short-lived when Appa slammed head-first into a Fire Nation war ship, nearly cracking his head open in the process.

"WHAT 'DA FOOSHIZZLE WAS 'DAT, HOMIES?" Aang screamed. Katara removed her blood-covered hands off of Aang's throat and replied, "I think...we're screwed." "AW, SHIT! I'M NOT READY TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY YET!" Sokka shrieked. Soon, the Gaang was surrounded by twenty fire soldiers and a commander that looked like someone shoved a spear up his ass.

The commander of the ship, who had a tall build and a big moustache, grinned menacingly and said, "Welcome, Avatar...to your doom!" The entire group of fire guys broke into laughter, which gave Aang just enough time to realize who this commander guy really was.

"HOLY MAC DADDY ON THE BITCH! I KNOW YOU! YOU'RE MR. SANDERS, THAT DUMB ASS WHO TRIED TO STEAL MY PLATE OF RICE!" Aang cried out into the heavens. For a few minutes, everyone was silent. Not in awe, but in amazement of how stupid the Avatar really was.

The commander let out a sigh of defeat and replied, "It is true...my name is Patrick DeFertilizer, the man who killed your mother!"Aang smiled and exclaimed, "I knew it was you! Mr. Vishiswazz! How ya doin'?" 'Who the hell IS this goddamn bastard's name. for crying out loud?' Sokka wondered.

"So...where is Toph and the Earth King?" asked Mr. Vishiswazz/Patrick DeFertilizer/Sanders. "Well," Aang began, "this dumb bitch and her brother think this is some cartoon show or something. They say that we're on some channel called 'Nickelodeon' or something. They say that I have to wait until 'season 2' before I meet them. It's a whole lot of crap, if you ask me..."

Sokka couldn't believe what Aang was saying. 'HOW DARE HE NOT SAY MY NAME!' he thought as the rage began to grow inside him. Suddenly, Sokka had a burst of power, which gave him the strength to rip out of the fire soldiers' clutches and land a well-deserved punch to Aang's face. "OH, SHIT!" The commander tried to fight, but Sokka easily snapped both his arms and one of his toes.

"Let's go, Katara!" With amazing speed, Sokka grabbed Katara, slapped Appa awake, and flew off to leave Aang to die. Neither of the siblings said anything until the next day...

* * *

Later, in some random forest by some random lake... 

"Sokka...? Sokka...? C'mon, Sokka, wake up!" Sokka's eyes snapped open and he saw Aang standing over him with a happy (yet slightly creepy) grin on his face. "AAAAHHHHH!!! THE RETARD HAS COME TO HAUNT ME!" Sokka quickly jumped out of bed and pulled out his boomerang/sword thing (like that'll do him any good).

Aang bitch-slapped Sokka and whispered, "I'm not no ghostie, foo! I just escaped!" Sokka sighed and muttered, "Did you really have to follow us...?" Aang nodded and stepped over towards Katara. "Listen, I only came here so I can fuck yo' sistah and steal back ma' bitch!" Sokka ran over and smacked Aang across the face before he touched Katara's boobs.

"What 'da hell was 'dat, foo?" Aang shouted as he rubbed his face in pain. Sokka kicked Aang in the face and exclaimed, "THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'LL LET YOU FUCK MY SISTER!" Aang cursed under his breath and replied, "Damn! You hit hard! Look, let me fondle with your sister...just for a bit, mind you...and I'll let you keep the fuckin' bison thing!" Sokka was about to accept Aang's offer when he suddenly realized what the perverted Air Bender had just said.

"NOT A CHANCE, YOU PERVERT!" Just as Sokka was about to hit Aang again, a huge boulder flew out of nowhere and slammed against Sokka's chest, sending him flying into the lake. A young girl with long white-blue hair in VERY skimpy clothes stepped out of the woods and shouted, "HEY! I GOT HIM!"

Aang took one look at the strange girl and thought, 'Oh my god! Either she's a lesbian, or Mary Sue! ...OR BOTH!' Aang knew that no matter how sexy and fuck-tastic a girl was, it was common sense that if she was a Mary Sue, she must die. Aang quickly got up and pulled out a small knife from his pocket.

"I'M SORRY, BUT I MUST KILL YOU!" Aang exclaimed. He charged at the girl and swung his knife. At the exact moment the knife struck, Aang closed his eyes. When he opened them, he found himself pinned to the ground with blood gushing from large holes on his chest and arms.

Aang tried to move, but large rock spikes were embedded into his wrists. "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" he screamed. The creepy Mary Sue girl was standing on top of a nearby pine tree, her eyes full of blood lust. "You look really tasty..." the girl purred. She jumped down next to Aang and bent down next to him.

Aang spat in her face and shouted, "IF YOU'RE GOING TO RAPE ME, THEN I GET TO BE ON TOP!" The girl just smiled and pulled out a long black sword with japanese letters inscribed into it. "I'm going to suck out your soul with this sword and make you my stupid bitch!" she hissed. The girl stood up and aimed the tip of the blade to pierce through Aang's heart.

'OH CRAP! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE AND I'M STILL A VIRGIN!' Suddenly, just as the blade was inches from Aang's chest, a huge hammer made of water smashed against the evil Mary Sue girl's face, sending her crashing against a tree.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU EARLIER?" Aang shouted furiously. Katara gave him a small kick in the head and replied, "I was trying to sleep, despite all the noise. Deal with it." Aang looked up through Katara's pants and thought, 'Heh heh...I can deal with it, all right...' Katara kicked Aang again and walked over to the Mary Sue girl.

Katara grabbed the girl by the shirt and exclaimed, "JUST WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU FREAKIN' LESBIAN?" "My name is...Sexy-Breast." quickly replied the girl. Suddenly, the girl's shirt exploded and large 1200cc breasts rolled out. This then followed with a seductive wink. This single technique caused Aang, Sokka (who was dead), Katara, and Appa to all die of excessive nose bleeds.

Sexy-Breast grinned and thought, 'Not even women can stand my sexiness!' Suddenly, something long and sharp flew through the air and hit Sexy-Breast in the neck, instantly killing her in the process. Prince Zuko, who is also known as 'Nacho Mujiro', stepped out of the shadows and chuckled as he looked at the five dead corpses in front of him.

'Time to collect my spoils...' Zuko thought as he walked over to Katara, a small bit of drool moving down his chin...

* * *

"BIG BOOBS!" Katara sat up and opened her eyes. She was sitting in a well-furnished bed in a room colored completely white. "D-Did'nt I die...?" Katara asked herself as she climbed out of the bed. Suddenly, Zuko jumped out from under the bed wearing nothing but a pink apron. 

"HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT! ZUKO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Katara cried, trying her best to keep herself from looking at the perverted prince. Zuko grinned and replied, "Well, I kidnapped you after Mrs. Sexy-Breast knocked you out. Then, I took off all my clothes and put on this super-hot apron!"

Katara processed this for a few moments before realizing what kind of Opportunity this was for her. Before you know, Katara was all over poor Zuko. Zuko pushed Katara away and shrieked, "SAVE ME!"

Suddenly, a huge army of sexy video game/anime characters in pink aprons surrounded Katara and began to pummel the shit out of her. That is, until they realized that you're not supposed to be beat up a girl.

Elsewhere, Sokka and Aang learned the many uses of soap bars...


End file.
